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Sofia Nabi, UK
Dear learned members of the group,
It's really gr8 to see dat the steps wic the female members of the society shud taken long back have finally been taken by the brothers wic really ensures that this creepy social evil won't take long to eradicate from the society.Watever may b the reason, the girls in bihar though may b dead against the dowry system but they do not muster the courage to voice their opinion irrespective of the fact wether they r educated or not.
I do not personally think dat illetracy among girls is the cause behind the prevailing dowry sys . Irrespective of the fact wether the girls is educated , professionally qualified or not it hits all the girls of the marriagible age . I wud rather say dat even before the girl reaches the age of marriage she sees n hears abt this social evil .
With the passage of time n the increasing education amongst the muslim community instead of dowry taking a back seat it’s rising .I have myself witnessed so many cases where though the girl is well educated , decent looking , earning n belong to a good family but shezz rejected b’cozz her parents cud not fulfill the demands of the groom side .Why is she expected to bring heavy lumpsum dowry wid her ???????????????????? Hasn’t her parents spent money on her upbringing n her education . If the parents wants a decent marriage of their daughter the option left wid them is to save the whole life earning to fulfill the dowry needs n leave her uneducated. But how many doctors , engineers n professionally qualified person wud prefer an uneducated wife. The question n the matter of dowry is not limited to just the educated strata but it has percolated down also .
Another imp criteria is dat the girl shud b very beautiful . tall , slim , professionally qualified ., Islamic n shud belong to a reputed and decent family . These r just a few qualities to list for the girls . N yes the girl parents shud b rich (imp criteria for the parents……… to take the matter further) . How many of us has all the above criteria ????? Till date I have not understood the term ‘ VERY BEAUTIFUL GIRL ‘ . Infact this statement is very ambigious n discouraging to many parents. Beauty infact lies in the eyes of the beholder .A thing of beauty for some may not be the same for the others .I agree dat there is no harm in setting criterias but is anybody on this earth perfect ..................???????????
Lets also give up the habit of visiting so many girls for the marriage purpose, looking them , judging them n then denying them later on.Lets b very clear abt the type of girl each of us wud want to have as the better half ...then things wud really b very easy. Lets respect others sis ,daughter also as we do to ours.Lets not make marriage a business .We do not realise the pangs n the agony of others until things happen to us.
It's surprising dat dowry is a matter of sheer greed and this has not much to do with the religion . There r so many nonmuslims who r giving up the sys of dowry sys b'coz lately they have realised dat it does nothing except harm all n decays the social sys.
I'm glad if so many people n mostly from Bihar are up in arms against this sys surely we will succeed . Lets not promise anybody else but make a promise to ourself n to God then probably we will b able to fight n win over this.
IN ORDER TO CREATE WAVES AROUND THE WORLD,
LETS CREATE A RIPPLE FIRST N INNOVATE AT THE BOTTOM!!!!!!!
Just b firm in our decision n WE SHALL OVERCOME SOME DAY...........DEEP IN MY HEART I DO BELIEVE WE SHALL OVERCOME SOME DAY!!!!!!