BaKhabar, February 2013, Page-6

Life is Not a Bed of Roses!

.... By Abida Rahmani

Hazrat Abu Sa`id and Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported that The Messenger of Allah SAW said, "Never a believer is stricken with a discomfort, an illness, an anxiety, a grief or mental worry or even the pricking of a thorn but Allah will expiate his sins on account of his patience.”(Al-Bukhari Book 07,Chapter 70, Hadith # 545)
She was thrilled with excitement when she called me, “Aunty, I have got the papers for our immigrant visa and we are going to Islamabad for our visa by the end of the month. Is it possible that I stay with your brother? The shuttle leaves early in the morning for embassy; it will be easier for me to catch a taxi from Islamabad to diplomatic enclave.”

“Yes, of course. I am so glad to hear that, lots of congratulations. Don't worry, you can stay with my brother and he will drop you at the embassy early in the morning. I'll talk to him and let them know.”

She assured me, “Aunty I have taken off the kids from school, otherwise I had to pay summer vacation fee. I too have resigned from my job. It was so strenuous and I was quite a bit tired.”

“Yes, you should ask Raza to enroll them here after you get visa. I am so happy for you that you are getting united with your husband and coming to the USA.” We talked for quite awhile. Nasrat was busy doing all the preparations to come to Houston to join her husband here. After talking to her I sent an e-mail to my brother and he assured me that there is no problem in their stay with them and he will take care of her embassy's pick and drop. It’s been almost ten years since her husband, Raza, got immigration through his family and moved to the USA. He was not highly educated but had some skills. He started work in a factory. She was lucky to have support of her mother. Her father had died long time ago; she was the lone child, so both of them lived together in their house. Being a very good driver, last time I was in Karachi, she gave me good rides and took me for shopping and eating around. It is always a blessing provided by some one when you do not have your own car. She narrated me the ordeals when her car got vanished from jumma bazaar. Luckily, she had full coverage and got compensated.

On another occasion, she and her mother both were robbed of cash, gold bangles, other jewelry, and her purse got snatched. It was such a big hassle to reissue the ID card and driving license. That is how life in Karachi is: insecure and unstable on the streets. One has to be prepared for these kinds of situation. I comforted her and asked her to be grateful to Allah SWT that their lives and honor is saved from those miscreants. She was looking forward to a peaceful life, where both husband and wife could be mutual partners, taking and sharing their responsibilities.

Over the years she became the mother of three kids: one daughter and two sons. The oldest one turned fifteen this year, the daughter is nine and youngest one is six years. She was a Montessori teacher at a local school; her mother was quite efficient taking care of the house and the kids mostly. Both mother and daughter got along nicely but she used to get desperate at times. She was friends with me on Facebook. She was a really enthusiastic girl: dresses, hair styles, shoes, a lot of fashionable stuff used to come through her page. Posting pictures used to be her hobby. She had a lot of pictures and albums there on her profile. Kids birthdays, Ameen, Bismillah pictures she used to cover and celebrate all the occasions for them. Once I reprimanded her while she started posting things such as, “I miss my hubby.” I would say to her, “Nasrat there is no need for crying on Facebook. Just pray to Allah for His help.”

This immigration process has taken a toll on her. After Raza got his citizenship, he was able to apply for them. It took years and a lot of efforts to go through the process. Earlier, many friends and relatives have advised her to apply for a visit visa to USA, to go and stay there. It was not an easy task for this; she has to tell the authorities lot of fake stuff. When she asked me once, I warned her not to follow any thing illegal or a fake way, otherwise she will get into more trouble. Wait and see, and you will get your immigration one day, and now the day has arrived. I feel so happy for her and her family. We the humble creatures of Allah are bonded in destiny and never know what is in store next for us.

After a week I saw her post that she is running a high fever and is diagnosed with Malaria. I called her and she told me that she was quite sick for a week, feeling very weak and exhausted. She was planning to go to Islamabad by bus, which is almost a twenty-four hour journey, but now she plans to go by air. She said to me, “Aunty, I'll stay with Raza's uncle. They live in Pindi because they felt it bad.”

I tried to call her cell phone the day she went for the interview to the embassy but my call did not get through. In the evening, Raza told me that there was some problem with her picture, which she needs to change. All other things went satisfactory. I was so glad for her, so I called her mother whom I call bhabhi to congratulate. She told that she still had a bit of fever. May be she was weak or tired.

“She will be okay now,” I assured her. After she got back to Karachi, I talked to her for awhile and asked

her to book her seat and come here as soon as possible. She was a bit upset with her ongoing high temperature, going to doctors who were doing a lot of tests and not finding some thing specific. At one time she was told that it is typhoid, then liver abscess, and then dengue fever. She was quite a bit upset with her plans tampered and at one point she told me,” Aunty I have a lot of pending work, shopping, tailoring, and selling my car.”

For some of my work, I had to visit Pakistan and went to Karachi. I visited them too with a few gifts. She was a bit pale and coughing. Worried about her ongoing fever, she said, “I take panadol (the Pakistani Tylenol) and then it goes a bit down. I am just fed up with this fever and sickness.”

I got worried too, after two weeks the doctors decided to do a bone marrow test on her and she was diagnosed with acute leukemia. She posted on her Facebook profile, “This bone marrow test was so painful...” We were just shocked to learn about the severity of the disease. She is so full of life, a thriving woman of thirty-seven years. That is what is called luck and destiny and Allah's will.

I discussed with Raza and he informed me that he is going to Karachi and will bring her and the kids with him. My son who is a doctor here in the US told me that there are the best hospitals in Houston for cancer treatment. They should send her as soon as possible. But her family in Karachi decided to start the treatment at the earliest. They admitted her to a cancer hospital in Karachi. Her chemotherapy got started and the doctors seemed quite hopeful and as I learned, she told them to be informed about the whole process. Raza went but came back heart-broken and disappointed because she herself refused to come to USA. This was a big setback and disappointment.

The side-effects of chemotherapy made her lose all her hair; she became weak and fragile with each passing day. In her fifth or sixth chemo session, she got lung and respiratory infection. As it happens in Pakistan, the doctors gave up on her. The hospital ventilator stopped working and she was moved to another hospital’s ventilator. I visited her and was appalled to see her condition. Doctors and the hospitals were charging huge bills and giving statement every hour that now she is 70% on ventilator and 30% on herself. The cousins in the family kept rushing for arranging blood, plasma and platelets. The mother was totally devastated.

On her 10th day on ventilator the doctors told the family that there is no use to keep her further on ventilator and she breathed her last.

“And surely We shall try you with something of fear and hunger, and loss of wealth and lives and crops; but give glad tidings to the patient, Who says, when afflicted with calamity: “To Allah We belong, and to Him is our return”: They are those on whom (descend) Blessings from Allah, and Mercy, and they are the ones that receive guidance.” (Al-Baqarah 2:155-157)
In other verses, Allah Almighty says:
“He Who created Death and Life, that He may try which of you is best in deed: and He is the Exalted in Might, Oft-Forgiving.” (Al-Mulk 67:2)
“Whatever misfortune happens to you, is because of the things your hands have wrought, and for many (of them) He grants forgiveness.” (Ash-Shura 42:30)
There is one hadith in which the Prophet Muhammad SAW tells us that the people who face the harshest trial are the prophets, then those next to them (in faith and devotion), and then the next. Everyone will be tried according to his level of faith; one who has strong faith will undergo a harsh trial and one who is of weak faith will receive a weak trial. And the affliction will encompass one until he becomes free of sins altogether.
Whatever befalls us just keep in our mind what Allah Almighty says:
“So, verily, with every difficulty, there is relief,” (Surah Al-Inshirah 94-6)
In our trying times, in our trial, we seek Allah SWT 's mercy and guidelines through the Quran as we are his humble creatures and it shows “That life is not a bed of Roses!”

Author’s Note: This is a true story about a niece of mine who passed away last July 2012.
Her kids are now with their father in Houston and the wailing mother is left in Karachi, Pakistan. Let us pray to Allah SWT for the departed soul to give her high status in Jannah, success, well-being, and harmony for her kids.
Write to bakhabar@biharanjuman.org