BaKhabar, May 2011, Page-3

better light a candle than curse the darkness

I am a liberal …!!
But when shall I be allowed the liberty?

I am a liberal which means I have liberated myself from whatever could bind me. Now, I feel as free as a bird with the only difference that I did not get the wings to fly. At least I can walk freely, except for other human beings and animals obstructing my free movement. The cars, trucks and the bullock-carts also come in the way of my free movement and compel me to think about the worth of this freedom. But, my liberal thoughts can face these petty challenges. What is most difficult however is the challenge that I face from the covenant with my wife who is fundamentally attached to the nikahnama I signed without knowing it would come in the way of my liberation; marriage was such a delightful thought and the ecstatic dreams of honeymoon had numbed the cells of my brain so much so I didn’t have even the first look at the clauses in the nikahnama. I do sometimes regret signing it in such a rush, as if I was signing into a treasure-chest of Marcos, Ben Ali, Husn Mubarak, or A. Raja. Don’t jump to conclude that I am suffering because of my liberal acceptance of whatever my fiancée had got written on the marriage contract.

"The essence of the Liberal outlook lies not in what opinions are held, but in how they are held: instead of being held dogmatically, they are held tentatively, and with a consciousness that new evidence may at any moment lead to their abandonment." - Bertrand Russell
My wife doesn’t understand that in an era when men and women are both liberated, to the extent that it’s hep and happening to wear the dresses and make-up of the other sex, our agreements like our thoughts must not remain dogmatically confined to the papers of marriage contract, traditional chores of serving bed-tea or parenting. After all, new evidence of a more loving person around me must lead to my abandonment of the person I am living with. Parenting, huh! Now that it’s so very evident all my love and labour spent on making the guy grow up would end up in the trash bin of some lady somewhere, I must be able to liberate from this dogma of parenting. But, the law of the land is not as liberal, and forces me to sweat it out on the guy’s grooming. Like, my wife, who threatens to throw me out of my house whenever I get any bit liberal with her sisters or her charming friends.

She says I am a Muslim, and I must not come close to these young, lovable, charming beauties; it is forbidden for me. However hard I try to convince her that we should be liberal Muslims, not the dogmatic type, she says she can be liberal only to the extent of getting the bed-tea from me every morning. She can even accept that I get the kids ready for school before the birds start chirping, and drop them to their respective schools, on way to work. She is so liberal that she can accept if I abandon my tentative annual vacation plan to visit my parents in favour of taking her to a hill station, or to take sick leave from office to cook food for her when she does not like the smell of the burning LPG. When I ask her to start working so that her income could compensate for our ever growing expenses, she reminds me that Muslim men must take care of all the family expenses. She is a liberal Muslim to the extent that she does not mind abandoning all the five prayers of the day, in fact, she doesn’t even remember it is perhaps compulsory. Well, I am even more liberal than her in terms of taking liberty with the

commandments of God. God doesn’t mind my liberties, why does she?
I wish I could write about how it costs hell of a lot taking liberty with my job; I am afraid my boss may read this article and fire me. He is very kind but he can’t of course wait till the Day of Judgement to throw me into fire! He curbs every single liberty that my heart demands, but he is definitely right; after all he has to meet the targets, and exceed them, for more incentives. In the bar, one day, when he was cheerful, I told him, “boss, I can skip worshipping God for an entire month without any loss being caused unto me, no cuts on the Oxygen I breathe nor on the sunlight I savour, but you cut a full day’s salary even if I am just a little more than ten minutes late”. He said he can’t be as generous as God; after all he needs me! As if God needs me not! But, may be, He has angels as my substitute for the heavens! And, my badge of a Muslim does not get damaged even the least bit. Even if I am the worthiest candidate for the hellfire, nobody has the right to call me anything but a Muslim. After all, I don’t condemn my Muslim friends who drink, not even criticize those who go to night-clubs or watch porn at home. Why should I mind his liberty when God doesn’t …! Is it not enough that we carry Muslim names, wear kurta-pyjama at home, don a skull-cap on Eid, listen to Urdu ghazals, and go out to greet other Muslim families? I don’t cause any harm to anyone, so why should God be unhappy with me just because I don’t follow in the footsteps of the fundamentalist drags of the society. Imagine the time they waste praying during working hours! How can we progress with so much time spent on praying, fasting, listening to mullas’ lectures! My boss says, “God resides in our hearts, so just remember him when you feel sad or down” (when boss shouts at me, that is) – he is a real liberal, that’s how he reached the top management level in our company, we have a lot to learn from him. But, I still wonder why he does not allow me to be liberal at work! Boss says to win God’s favours, it’s enough to be good to others. Hey boss, when would you start doing that with me, and accept me as I am – a liberal in disobeying your orders!

The traffic police cut my liberty anywhere and everywhere, nowadays; it’s not like earlier times anymore when they would do it only at signals. The moment I change a lane without signaling, or overtake from the wrong side, or speed up beyond the limit, he jumps in to steal from my limited monthly earnings as if I slog it out over thirty days to fill his pockets! God didn’t teach him some of His own ways! Every part of my body takes liberty where the policeman, my boss, or my wife is not watching; my eyes, my hands, my feet, would become as liberal as my thoughts to grope the forbidden territories, but God never minds! And, all those who know me still consider me a Muslim; I don’t mind being called a liberal Muslim, a progressive Muslim, an unorthodox Muslim, etc; in fact I love these tags. How I wish the traffic police considered me a liberal driver and ignored my veers, jeers, adventures, and minded his own business!
In an era when the entire socio-political system, executive and judiciary accepts all sorts of liberated behavior patterns and socio-cultural constructs, when a sister’s body on display is fashionable and covering up a dogma, when same-sex marriages are neither illogical nor illegal while terming it immoral may invite corporal punishment, when the God doesn’t mind the liberal happenings of all that He commanded as sin, I don’t know why my wife or my boss, or the cop on the road, can’t bear my free will at home, in the office, or on the road! Oh God, when shall I be accepted as a liberal …!